online literature since 2007

Friday, April 2, 2010

Consider April from My Balcony

I
The seagulls sound like
Doors opening over the sea

When I paint my chest
Like the Easter egg designed
In womb  I felt the pulse

Of church bells echo           
            In the sewers and bones
Of the city

II
My balcony overlooks
Jesuit house defaced walls

And lonely golden window
Lamps  I saw portals of priests
And sisters using tea with their
            Hands bleached and
Free from callous

I checked my sense of the
Order   the march   the pace 
The quantity of ants
            Filing into the sea—

The catalyst suicides of childish
Novas the depth of storage for
Indifferent ill memories

III
            I sketched for the tea party
The public sex I’ve seen in streets
The beards burned in fires of
Money and condoms the small
Mountains of pleasure and success
The carcasses of flattened gulls
            Fallen from the heavens
  
            My friends sleep inside,
A warm rat king of
College exhaustion dissolving at
Last  and I on the balcony
            listen to the church bells
ring and turn

The remaining gulls with keys—
Consider April from my balcony

IV
This evening I use the Bible as the
Instruction booklet of the chords
Of giants gritting teeth beats the
Booms of St. Ignatius kicking
His boot against empty air

            Tried to build this door—

This door I cursive for frame
I take the wind three sheets
Covering lovers drawn out on
Haight and Ashbury to you
Allen to you and the salt from
Your eyes that turned your beard
From brunette to blonde when you
Dreamed of hot air balloons
Deflating above
            Greenwich night skies

V
            Every nail and board
Into this door
Made with the bread of pain
And the codes behind my eyes
Coursing from my blueprint of
            Veins and bones these
Fingers drawing the sketches
Of a gate for all to walk naked
Thru

At the foot will scurry
white pelts of rabbits against
The bare balls of the ankles
I am unsure if they will think of
Allen Hardy Jesus or me

            If they think of me
The way of the cypress tree
Let one thousand fields of lilac
And poppy candy
            In which the mystics are buried
Spread like acid on film

The mystics in their sleep
Will hear my footsteps
They will smell my sweat
And they will feel the pressure
Of my word like the finger
Clenched

VI
The door
            To building the door
That will open to all—

            The pallid angels with cigarettes
Hanging from their lips and a
Cancer spreading their wings.
            The annals of children waiting
Awake for the toothfairy who is
Left hung on the cypress tree
In the field of infinity

I keep building this door
For all to pass under
To see the sunlight behind
To see ahead
the moon
            dropped
In the great star like an Irish car bomb
           
            The howls of the sinking
moon will be mistaken for the final
hissing of dying time

The dogs of romanticism chained
To fashionable pegs
Lurch and froth and choke
Trying to reach me before
I finish this door

VII
My death is not inscribed in the
Book of Instruction
So if I shall die
If I shall fall before this door is made—

            I take the wood from the cypress
            I make the nails from icicles of our blood
            I find the glass in the delicate filaments of poetry
            I read the blueprints found in the body
           
            I build in the wall of saving grace

Finish the door
If I can not
Finish the door
So all may walk
So all may use the key given at life

Head held high to the portal of ecstasy

Before the flesh deteriorates and

The hinges are taken away

13 comments:

andrew worthington said...

this is tight

words i find that seem out of place in this poem:

"College"
"froth"
"dogs of romanticism"

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