the sun kills me as i walk along the sidewalk

i fall to the ground, screaming in pain and horror

this can't be it, there has to be something more

no, i think, this is it

i stop screaming

it still hurts and im still dying

but theres no need to scream

the steps in the office building seem to be infinite

i continue to climb to the highest floor

i get to the highest floor

i have reached infinity

i go out on the roof and light and cigarette

i go the edge of the roof and look down

i am acrophobic

i ash my cigarette onto the dots below

i think how much it would suck if i jumped down

but i really want to jump down

i want to either join the army or become a heroin addict

then i would have structure in my life

im running running running

a dog is chasing me

i had been walking on the sidewalk

and then a dog started chasing me

i had gone to buy cigarettes

i was too lazy to put on shoes so i wore sandals

it is easy to walk but hard to run in sandals

i can hear the dog's bark getting closer

a knife gets stabbed into the back of my leg

but its not a knife

its a dogs teeth

i kick the dog in the head

it whimpers

i start running again

The steering wheel on my car feels like it has always been there

So do the pedals

I push on the gas pedal

I speed past a pickup truck

It is navy blue

It is emitting lots of fumes

I blow cigarette smoke out the window

I turn left down a side street

Kids are playing hockey in the street

I push on the gas pedal and attempt to run them over

They avoid me

I turn back onto a main road

I let cars pass me

I feel like an animal running at the back of the herd

I feel like a machine

But not like a cog in the machine

I am a machine and I am fulls of cogs that i can't control

one of the most fucked up things i've written.

(inspired by the vaselines)

pussycat meow
i want to skin you
and make a hat for my head
to keep it from getting so moist

pussycat meow
i want to shave off all your short, coarse hair
as a funny prank
a surprise to the neighbor when he gets home

rooster crow
i want to hold out your neck
stretch it out good
and watch it spurt blood when it's all over

rooster crow
i want to wrap you
in a floury tortilla smothered in a medley of juices
and stick you in my mouth

pussycat meow
and rooster crow
in a boat with a guitar
while the cow flies over the moon

michael jackson

for some reason, i am very troubled by his recent death.
i didn't know him, you didn't know him. who actually knew him, anyway?
i think i miss him.
what about blanket?

i want to stay in bed every morning
and watch someone live my life
see if they shower
see if they eat breakfast
and what they eat for breakfast
see if they smoke a cigarette
and what kind of cigarette
and then kill them before lunch

when i see you cry, i want to cry

when i see you laugh, i think: should i laugh?

when you are sad, i want to be sad

when you are happy, i want to be sad

i am sad

i want to be sad

when i am sad, i want you to be sad

when i am happy, i want you to be happy

i am never happy when you are happy

but i will laugh when you laugh